In addition to the diapers, wipes & cute toy they gave us, a group of them also went together & got us a pack-n-play. What blew me away was the thought that was put into the specific design they chose. This pack-n-play matches the color & theme of the nursery I had painted for Noah a year ago!! While this gift is for the new baby, it also has a part of Noah tied in with it which I just love! I really appreciated the thought that went into them including Noah as well. They get the fact that just because this baby is coming doesn't mean Noah gets pushed aside or forgotten.
In fact, Noah & this baby share a special bond. In the baby loss world, this coming baby is known as a "Rainbow Baby" which you may hear me reference more in the future.
"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm experianced from a child that has died nor diminishes it. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds will still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of hope.
This baby in no way replaces Noah or suddenly makes everything all better. Both of which has been stated to me in comments from people during this pregnancy. I share that because if you know of anyone that is in my shoes, whether now or in the future, just be sensitive in what you say to them during a pregnancy after a child that has died. Pregnancy after the death of a infant is in no way the same as pregnancy before a loss. The innocence is gone & is replaced by a whole new set of emotions and experiances which can feel isolating at times as most people just don't understand.
On that note, while we are waiting for our rainbow baby to make an appearance any day now, I set up a baby guessing game as a way to help distract me right now from all these crazy emotions these coming weeks will hold. Feel free to play along. I plan to print this out then for the baby's book.
Baby guessing game
"a duck in a pond is calm and carefree... but what you don't see under the water is the struggling & stressed feet.. what you see is not always what it seems"